We nuked another American city last month. April 23rd, to be exact. A fake terrorist group was accused of the crime, but make no mistake about it, we did it, so addicted are we to both the rush of the endorphins and our fascination with the end of times.

In the dark, they come in, shielded from public view by a police perimeter and an inner line of uniformed guardians. The target is reserved for the Tier I forces: They’ve practiced hundreds of times, rappelling onto the roof, banging down doors, hop-scotching down corridors, sweeping rooms. When it’s all clear, the scientists are ushered in with their detection gear and their “render safe” machines and tools. The orders are crystal clear: Do everything and anything to get to the nuke before it explodes, take no chances, shoot to kill.

Everyone sing along! Al Qaeda’s connected to the Colombian FARC, the Colombian FARC’s connected to the Mexican Sinaloa, Sinaloa is connected to the Chinese Triads, the Triads are connected to Hezbollah, Hezbollah’s connected to the Mexican Zetas, which all ends up in the streets of Los Angeles.

Next week, U.S. and Mexican military commands will secretly get together to practice cross-border operations, including scenarios that involve the massive movement of Mexican citizens into Arizona as a result of a magnitude 7.8 Southern California earthquake, and suspected outbreaks of diseases caused by terrorist use of biological weapons.