Naval Industry Death Con 2015 Was Live Tweeted By a Romance Novelist
Yesterday concluded the fiftieth anniversary edition of the naval industrial complex's festival of killing; the annual Sea-Air-Space (SAS) Exposition was held at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center. Located in made-up city National Harbor, Maryland, a military favorite for industry confabs, the expo allows global naval celebrities, defense contractors, and weapons experts the opportunity to demonstrate how well they can kill things without any interference from the general public. Luckily for us, Kerri Carpenter, a sweet, sexy, sparkly romance novelist and social media liaison for the event, was on hand to live tweet the whole thing.
The incessant warporn tweeting and retweeting by Kerri, Director of Publishing and Unicorns at SEAPOWER magazine, run by the expo's organizer, the Navy League of the United States, is impressive in scale, but more importantly, its an insight as to why the Navy feels justified in its ask for an additional $10 billion in the proposed 2016 Pentagon budget. The U.S. Navy, its Naval Sea Systems Command and a myriad of other industry big wigs also did their patriotic duty to remind us why they are so essential to global security.
A few great examples of Kerri's more hardcore tweets:
One shot, one kill. Very sparkly.
And then he slid his heat-seeking missile into her fiery depths.
This electromagnetic railgun, produced by BAE Systems, is a long range weapon set to debut next year off the coast of Florida. Thanks to Kerri's constant updates, it's clear why the Navy and it's global allies are pushing for the extra money needed to keep BAE Systems in business.
The visiting Colombian Admiral:
"Its important to have close relationships with everyone in the region to face new threats with strategy and strength.” -ADM Velez #SAS15.
— Sea Air Space (@SeaAirSpace) April 13, 2015
Romania's input:
"Nowadays in the Black Sea area you have to be prepared for ANTYHING." -ADM Mirsu #SAS15
— Sea Air Space (@SeaAirSpace) April 13, 2015
Japan:
"In order to avoid escalation in the South #China Sea-what is most important is how to exert control during peacetime ..." ADM Takei #SAS15
— Sea Air Space (@SeaAirSpace) April 13, 2015
Apparently the Australian Admiral didn't get the memo:
"I’m over asked what it’s like to be in charge of the AUSTRALIAN Navy." (Laughter) - ADM Barrett @Australian_Navy #SAS15
— Sea Air Space (@SeaAirSpace) April 13, 2015
Guess you had to be there. But if we are to take our favorite glitter-enthusiast's tweets seriously, which we should, because she was behind the scenes at an event which has serious, undeniable consequences for our defense budget, our alliances and our nation's weaponry systems, it seems like we're committing to war with the entire world. And with this tweet from the Navy, they're trying to abdicate responsibility for their warmongering by blaming it on us.
Donegan: We have to be forward because our nation expects it.
#SAS15 #USNavy #PresenceMatters pic.twitter.com/6LSKhDK7Fk
— U.S. Navy (@USNavy) April 14, 2015
If they think we're so ready to wade into battle, the expo should be open to the public. But we've gotten a pretty great view from Kerri of what goes on behind closed industry doors—the same old bullshit glad-handing, showing off of new toys and the contrived efforts of military agencies from around the world to keep themselves relevant. With the conference's end I find myself nostalgic for the brony-grade propaganda I've been looking at for the last few days—maybe I'll get my daily dose of sparkle by buying Kerri's book. (Laughter).
You can contact the author at sultana@gawker.com.
[Photo of Gaylord National Resort and Conference Center courtesy of Marriott Hotels. Image via www.kerricarpenter.com.]